What is somnophillia?
Somnophilia is a kink where a person wants to have sex with their partner while he or she is sleeping or when someone wants their partner to have sex with them while they’re asleep.
How to have sex with a sleeping person?
Having sex with a sleeping partner can be tricky from a legal standpoint. Nobody wants their fetish to have them end up in jail, which is why it’s crucial to talk to your partner before engaging in sleeping sex with them and to get their consent or give them your consent to do whatever the two of you have discussed. If both of you have given your consent and are okay with what the other person is going to do, there should be no reason for either one of you to involve the authorities or get a visit from the police.
How to give consent for sleeping sex?
In the community of people with a somnophillia kink, there are two commonly practiced types of consent, which are blanket consent and consensually non-consensual sex.
Blanket consent is something couples often practice in everyday life. For instance, you and your partner don’t need to ask each other if it’s okay to kiss your partner or do certain things in sex that both of you really like. The same can happen with sleeping sex if the partner who will be sleeping gives the other partner verbal consent to have sex with them while they are sleeping without the need for additional verification.
As for consensually non-consensual sex, it happens when the two partners agree to engage in a sex act where the excitement comes from the other person being helpless and seemingly not giving their consent for what the other partner is doing. BDSM sex practices have many examples of such sex acts, for instance, spanking, bondage and other forms of submission and punishment. The key with consensual non-consent is once again communication - it’s crucial that you and your partner both want to do what you’re planning to do and know exactly what you are and aren't allowed to do to each other.
Frequently asked questions about sex with a sleeping person
Is somnophillia the same as sleepy sex?
No, sleepy sex is lazy, half-asleep sex a couple can have just after waking up while both partners are awake but still sleepy. Somnophillia refers to a situation where one partner is fully asleep and the other is awake.
Is it legal to have sex with a sleeping partner?
From a technical standpoint, somnophillia is illegal because first, of all, a person can’t give consent while they are sleeping, and second of all, in the US the law actually states that being asleep is evidence for lack of consent.
How to make sleeping sex pleasurable for my partner?
If your partner is on board with you having sex with them while they are sleeping, you just need to make sure that it can feel good for them as well by using lots of lube since if your female partner is asleep, she won’t have any natural lubrication.
When should I try having sleep sex with my partner?
If you have blanked consent to have sleep sex with your partner, keep in mind that you still need to carefully choose a night to do it. It’s best to do it on the weekend if either one of you has to wake up early and ensure that there are so things that might make your partner not want to engage in sex with you while asleep or awake.