Some people believe that love can only be expressed romantically but others see it as a chemical reaction that can take on many forms and have lots of different expressions. One of the ways some people choose to express love and fulfill their sexual needs are S&M relationships.
What is S&M?
S&M relationships are a subset of BDSM relationships. S stands for sadism and M stands for masochism. Sadists are people who enjoy inflicting pain, humiliation, etc. on other people, while masochists are people who like to be on the receiving end of it.
What is an S&M relationship like?
While mainstream media often portrays S&M relationships as weird or even hurtful and abusive, they are not that different from other relationships. The two people who engage in an S&M relationship often have deep love and affection for each other, but more importantly, they trust each other unconditionally. Just like in any other part of BDSM, trust is crucial when people engage in sadism/masochism. The only real difference between regular and S&M couples is that people who practice S&M don’t enjoy vanilla sex as much as more kinky alternatives, which is why they choose to practice what feels good for them and turns them on.
How can people show love in an S&M relationship?
You might be surprised to find out that when it comes to sex, S&M is not all whips, candle wax and other extreme sex toys. First of all, before an S&M scene begins, the two partners always discuss their boundaries, talk about what will be used in the scene and which sex acts will be performed and agree on a safe word. Mutual respect and trust and the foundations of S&M, which is why this part is so important. However, arguably the most important part of S&M comes after the scene is over. Aftercare is something that happens after two partners who engage in BDSM get done having sex or having a BDSM scene. During this part, the two people can talk to each other about the experience they just had, cuddle, kiss, take a shower together, help each other get dressed, put away toys or do virtually anything else to show love and care for each other and reconnect on a deep emotional level.
Interestingly, aftercare can be so powerful in its bonding ability that it’s actually a big advantage of S&M sex over vanilla sex and especially one night stands. In many cases, the two partners just go back to their normal lives after engaging in vanilla sex, which can make one of the partners feel used and discarded due to hormonal changes. Aftercare, on the other hand, allows the partners to develop intimacy and deep affection for each other.
Frequently asked questions about S&M sex
Is S&M sex suitable for any relationship?
If you or your partner are both interested in trying S&M, then it might be suitable for you. However, it’s not a good idea to force the idea of S&M on someone who is completely against it and it also might not be suitable for people who have experienced abuse and trauma.
Are sadism/masochism relationships dangerous?
If you set clear boundaries and follow proper safety precautions, engaging in S&M can be completely safe. It’s all up to you and your partner to set boundaries and not go beyond them.
Can the two partners switch roles in S&M?
Absolutely, one or both partners can take on other roles in S&M whenever they want. While most couples usually take on permanent roles in S&M relationships, there are some couples where the two partners switch roles depending on their desires at the moment.