The only way to enjoy sex fully is to tell your partner what you want in bed. But talking about sex, especially if you’re not used to it, can be very uncomfortable even for couples who have been together for years. So lets talk about how to ask for what you want, without hurting your partner’s feelings .
Remember sex is meant to feel good for you, too. Firstly, many women have sex just to please the partner, which is completely wrong. Sex is about mutual pleasure and both parties have to understand it.
Choose the right time and tone
The outcome really depends on how you ask. The best way to tell your partner what you want in bed is to be direct, but without complains or offensive tone. You definitely not doing that right after sex, after sex your partner feels more vulnerable and your conversation can cause the performance anxiety. Don’t make a big deal of it and bring it up organically.
Clarity means explain what you want him to do, what moves feel good and whats better not to do. Show him what you like. guide their hands or move their face how you want it. Literally show him how you masturbate alone, it will turn him on and your comments will make it easier for him to remember the technhique.
Make it part of your pre-sex build up
Sexting helps to build up the passion and excitement, just text him in the middle of the day things you want to try “I am imagining you slowly taking off my panties and open my labia, you blowing on my clit and I am getting extremely wet” . This can be a great way to deliver your message and turn your partner on in the process. Or you can give him a shoulder massage and whisper sweet nothings about what you want to happen in the next moments.
Combine with positive feedback
Tell your partner that you love the way they do this and that , and that it would be great if he could also touch you here at the same time. start with something great, make a suggestion, then talk about something else you like.
Ask them what they need
Don’t be demanding, make it a dialogue. Ask him about his fantasies, tell him you wanna have a special night and what he would like to try …. If he doesn’t have anything in mind or he is too shy to tell about it, give him options to choose.