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How to be a good submissive in BDSM?

How to be a good submissive in BDSM?

What makes a good submissive?

If you have a submissive streak and like to engage in powerplay with your partner or maybe even have a full-blown dominant/submissive relationship with his or her, sooner or later you will start wondering about what makes a good submissive in the bedroom and how to be a good submissive. There are lots of articles and forums on the internet that talk about different submissive characteristics that are considered to be good or bad. But the truth is, every person and every dominant/submissive relationship is different. What your dom might consider being bad sub behavior another dominant might consider being very good behavior.

How to be a good submissive?

Since every dominant’s preferences are different and every dom/sub relationship dynamic is different, there’s no one guide that you can use to learn to be a good sub. Essentially, you will need to learn what your dominant likes and doesn’t like and adjust your behavior accordingly to become the best sub for him or her.

Is there such a thing as a bad submissive?

While you can certainly try to be a good submissive for your dominant, the main expectation of a submissive is to relinquish control to the dominant. On the other hand, the dominant who has all the power and a duty of care is not supposed to force the sub to do anything the sub isn’t willing to do. A dom/sub relationship should be consensual, just like any other relationship, and if a sub tries to label their submissive as a bad submissive for refusing or failing to do things that the sub isn’t able or willing to do, it could be a sign of abuse. On the other hand, this doesn’t apply to playful situations where both parties know what they are doing and the sub is ‘playing the role’ of a bad sub on purpose.

Frequently asked questions about good submissives in BDSM

Are there different categories of submissives?

There is no one set categorization of submissives and dom/sub relationships, but there are certainly different categories of dominants and submissives according to their behaviors, preferences and BDSM lifestyle choices.

Is 50 Shades of Gray an accurate representation of a BDSM relationship?

50 Shades of Gray is a terrible representation of a dom/sub relationship because it portrays an abusive, manipulative relationship that doesn’t include the use of safewords, aftercare and other important aspects of any normal BDSM relationship.

Can a man be submissive?

While in about 90% of dominant/submissive relationships the man usually takes on the dominant role and the woman - the submissive, it’s totally normal for things to be the other way around or even to switch - one time the man is the dominant, the other time - the submissive.