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BDSM contracts - things you should know

BDSM contracts - things you should know

What are dom and sub contracts?

Dom and sub or BDSM contracts are agreements that a dominant and a submissive who want to engage in BDSM power play typically craft together and sign. These documents can be as simple and short or as long and complicated as both parties want - there’s no set standard for BDSM contracts.

Why do I need a BDSM contract?

Contracts are used in the BDSM community to help the couple communicate better, set up clear limits, rules and punishments for breaking those rules. They can also help set goals and directions in a relationship and even help the master/slave roleplay feel more real.

How to create a BDSM contract?

Any BDSM contract should start with an open and honest conversation between you and your existing or future partner. From there, you can decide how long and formal the contract needs to be and what you need to include in it. Some contracts can be just a couple of sentences on a piece of paper, others are 10-page documents certified by a notary and signed in front of a witness. At the same time, you should remember that the length and formality of the BDSM contract don’t determine how valid or serious your relationship is. A longer BDSM contract just means that you and your partner want to formally specify more aspects of your relationship and behaviors. It can also be a good idea to find some examples of BDSM contracts online when crafting your own document.

What to include in a BDSM contract?

Each couple should discuss and decide for themselves what to include in their BDSM contract, but some of the common things included in dominant and submissive contracts include the length of the play period, expectations and rules for both the sub and the dom, acceptable forms of punishment, boundaries and limits of both partners, rules for terminating and modifying the contract, etc. Frequently asked questions about BDSM contracts

Are dom and sum contracts legally binding?

No matter how formal you make your BDSM contract, it is not a legal document and can’t be used to force your partner to do anything they don’t want to do or to take legal actions against them (unless they did something that breaks the law, of course).

What are some red flags in a BDSM contract?

Each person will have his and her own red flags in BDSM, but you should be extremely cautious if your partner wants to restrict things like your diet, communication with friends and family, employment, anything health-related, etc.

Who should have a copy of the BDSM contract?

This is totally up to the dub and the dom - in some cases, you can both sign two copies of the document so the dom and the sub can keep one copy of the agreement. Alternatively, you can only have an electronic version in the cloud or even sign just one copy of the document and keep it in a mutually agreed-upon place.