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Aftercare in BDSM

Aftercare in BDSM
People who don’t have a lot of experience with the world of BDSM often think that it’s all ropes, whips, sex and powerplay. But in fact, before you start engaging in any type of kink or BDSM activities, you need to learn about the importance of aftercare in a BDSM relationship.

What is aftercare in BDSM?

Aftercare is a term that refers to the time the submissive and the dominant take to recover and reconnect after a BDSM session. Most BDSM activities, no matter how enjoyable in the moment, can take both a physical and a psychological toll on the two partners, but especially on the submissive, which is why it’s crucial to set aside some time after the scene to take care of each other’s physical and emotional states.

Why do I need to do sub aftercare after a BDSM session?

No matter how hot your BDSM session was or how much you and your partner enjoyed playing your submissive and dominant ‘roles’, the truth is that it’s just a fun game and not at all how you want to act and treat your partner in real life. Even though a sub might be eager to submit and accept even the harshest punishment from the dominant, in real life they want to be loved and respected. This is why it’s important to take some time to get back to your normal relationship dynamic after a scene and reassure each other of your mutual love and respect, as well as take care of any physical needs after an intense BDSM session.

Frequently asked questions about BDSM aftercare

What are some examples of emotional and physical aftercare in BDSM?

Every person’s needs are different but some examples of aftercare include helping your partner get free from restraints, get dressed, giving them a relaxing massage or running a bath for them, applying a soothing cream to an area of their skin that might be irritated or hurt, etc. Emotional aftercare includes having an open conversation about the things you engaged in, reassuring each other of your mutual love, respect and acceptance of each other’s kinks, etc.

Do dominants need BDSM aftercare?

It’s a common misconception that only submissives need aftercare after a BDSM scene, but the truth is that a dom might need just as much emotional and even physical aftercare sometimes, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open.

Do all people need dom/sub aftercare after having kinky sex?

No, some people don’t need aftercare at all, others prefer to be left alone after a scene to recover. The best way to find out what your partner needs is to have open and honest communication with them and to talk about your needs as well.